It’s funny how, as a doula, you start out as a complete stranger. Yet, by the end of the journey, you’ve become part of the family.
There’s a moment in every doula’s journey that no one warns you about. It’s not the late nights, the 3 a.m. phone calls, or even the emotional weight of witnessing a birth - it’s the goodbye.
As a doula, you step into someone’s life at one of their most vulnerable and transformative moments. You’ve shared in the most intimate, raw, and life-changing moments of a family’s life. You laugh with them, cry with them, and hold their hand through it all.
You’ve seen them through contractions, tears, joy, and that overwhelming rush of love when they meet their baby for the first time. You’ve held their hand (literally and figuratively), offered encouragement, and poured your heart into helping them feel safe and supported. You help them navigate the unknowns, celebrate their victories, and remind them of their strength when they doubt it most.
And then, one day, your work is done.
That goodbye? It’s hard.
More Than Just Support
When I first meet a family, it’s all about establishing trust. They’re letting me into their world during a time of immense change and emotion, and I don’t take that lightly. Over the weeks - or months - we build a bond. It’s not just about labor positions, postpartum tips, or the perfect latch. It’s about sharing a journey.
By the time the baby arrives, I feel like part of the family. We’ve created inside jokes, shared countless “firsts,” and maybe even cried together during those sleepless nights. I’ve been their advocate, their cheerleader, and sometimes just their quiet presence in the room.
The Bittersweet Goodbye
When a family no longer needs you, it’s both rewarding and heart-wrenching. On one hand, you’ve done your job - they’re thriving, confident, and ready to take on the world as parents. That’s the goal, right? To empower them so they don’t need you anymore.
But on the other hand, there’s this ache in your heart. You’ve poured so much of yourself into their journey. You’ve seen them at their most raw and real. Saying goodbye feels like closing a chapter in a book you’re not ready to put down.
Sometimes I catch myself wondering - how are they doing? Is the baby sleeping? Have they found a routine? Did they finally get that perfect family photo they were dreaming about?
When the time comes for our last visit, it’s like leaving a piece of my heart behind.
Staying Connected
The beautiful thing about being a doula, though, is that goodbye isn’t always the end. Many families stay in touch, sending updates, photos, and even inviting me back for baby number two (or three!).
I always remind them: “I’m here if you need me.” Whether it’s a quick text about a question or just sharing a milestone, the bond we’ve created doesn’t just disappear.
That’s what keeps me going. Knowing I’ve been part of their story - no matter how long or short my chapter was - is an incredible honor.
Why I Do What I Do
Being a doula isn’t just about the work - it’s about the relationships. It’s about seeing families grow, thrive, and find their rhythm. It’s about being a part of something bigger than myself.
And while the goodbyes never get easier, they remind me of why I started this journey in the first place: to support, empower, and celebrate families during one of the most magical times of their lives.
So, to all the families I’ve had the privilege of working with - thank you. Thank you for trusting me, welcoming me, and allowing me to be part of your story.
If you’re reading this and you’re looking for someone to walk with you on your journey, I’d be honored to be that person. Because even though the goodbyes are hard, the journey is always worth it. 💜
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